Nervousness

Anxiety is the fear of being hurt.
For our anscestors this usually meant actual physical attack and pain - today, it is
more related to such things as: rejection, criticism, humiliation, shame and failure.

Anxiety is a protection mechanism that has evolved over millions of years; it serves
to warn us that we are about to be hurt and to prepare us for action.
It does this in 2 main ways:-

1. Our thoughts: We think about potential situations before we get to them - the
greatest form of protection is not to get into the situation in the first place. This is
something seen in many anxiety and nervous problems, where we will often avoid
situations that make us feel afraid.

2. Our Body: Prepares us for action: the fight-or-flight response. We are charged
with energy ready to fight or flee. This response is responsible for all the signs of
nervousness and symptoms of anxiety that we experience.

Take a couple, for example:-

• Faster heartbeat - our heart speeds up to pump blood to the major muscle groups (legs and arms) to feed them with oxygen and sugar for immediate action.

• Jumpiness and on-edge - these feelings come from this priming of the muscles, a twitchiness, ready to burst into action if necessary.

Anxiety is a part of being alive, a part of being human. We all experience
anxiety and feeling nervous in certain situations.

At Help-For, we don't agree with the classification of anxiety-related problems as
various illnesses. Indeed, this classification, in itself, reflects the human drive to
control the uncontrollable by categorizing and ordering just as many anxiety disorders
themselves do.
They may reflect different ways of thinking (more sensitive, self-protective ways),
but they are not, in a sense, mental illnesses - the vast majority of people with
these problems are extremely intelligent - more so than the average population - and
are aware of the inappropriate thoughts, feelings and behaviours, yet feel powerless
to stop them.

Extreme nervousenss and anxiety are generally the result of life experiences that
have made us feel afraid and unable to cope. Not usually single frightening instances,
they more likely develop from general living situations which involve such things as:
constantly being put down, being ridiculed, being made to feel ashamed, made to feel
guilty and made to feel worthless.

What underlies them is the same and they develop and grow in the same way.
The uncontrollable thoughts of the man or woman with obsessions and the panic
associated with not carrying out the compulsions works just the same as the
unstoppable thoughts of the teenage anorexic girl and the panic associated with
eating and being fat.
Heightened anxiety associated with constant worrying and planning in generalized
anxiety disorder is the same as that of the social phobic thinking about facing a
fearful situation. Excessive shaking in panic is the same whatever gives rise to the
panic as are the depressed feelings of frustration sadness and despair, whatever
gives rise to them.

Feeling bad, uncontrollable negative thoughts and images, physiological
symptoms of anxiety, panic and tension lie at the heart of all anxiety
problems and most forms of depression ... they also lie at the heart of their
cure.

The key to overcoming these problems is understanding how they work. Like
everything in life, when we know how and why something works we know how to
stop it. To try and overcome these problems without this understanding is
exceptionally difficult for whatever we may try, as soon as any symptoms occur, we
think that it's not working, it isn't the answer and continue the never-ending search
for the 'real answer'.
To stop nervous problems we have to know why what we are doing works for it to
work - otherwise the unknown will always overpower us.
To overcome these problems we have to know how they work and, more importantly,
how the way to stop them works - only then will we have the knowledge and power
to overcome the natural setbacks that occur.

Self-help (the right kind) is the only way to permanently stop anxiety-
related problems - only you can change the way you think and act - no
one can get inside you and do it for you. (Guidance and support from a
good therapist can help, but even with this, we still have to do it
ourselves).

'Get-well quick' methods cannot work - how can something that takes
years to develop, something that's an integral part of how we think, feel
and act, be removed in a matter of minutes, hours, days? (Excepting some
simple phobias which can be overcome quickly - but not by 'get-well quick' methods).

Medication, sometimes good for symptom relief cannot cure these
problems - pills work on a physical level, these problems are
psychological and most people's problems run too deep to be cured by
merely stopping the symptoms.

When we truly understand these problems, much of the anxiety is removed.